omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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