Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I need to calm my uterus...
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
soo... how was my night?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
