Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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