you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
