But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
