i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
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