So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
