Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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