We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
