Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
