Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
