It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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