By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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