I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize