Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Randomize
