Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
