i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
