Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Be still, my beating vagina.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
