i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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