How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
