ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
