Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
