I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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