Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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