Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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