He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
