yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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