I just made out with a guy for $7.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Blood and glitter go together right?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
