this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize