He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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