Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
