My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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