READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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