I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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