I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
