Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
