Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
