Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
