so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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