I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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