see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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