A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
