I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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