I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize