Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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