he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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