absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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