someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I love you.
Bad choice
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
