I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
