I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize