Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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