i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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