i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
