Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
