I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
