I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
