somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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