All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
