i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
