Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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