What a fucking waste of an outfit
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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