good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
