dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
