I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize