Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
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