Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
