He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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