I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Randomize