you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
