I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
