So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
