Sponge bath it is.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
