he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
