All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
