We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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