i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
