I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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