thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He felt like a one man threesome
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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