wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
