No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
