remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
