so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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