I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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